WE NEED TO TALK ABOUT THE WORD BITCH
We’ve all witnessed, in recent years, the public takedown of various celebrities who have been caught using racist, homophobic, or anti-Semitic slurs. The aftermath of each incident follows a similar formula: Issue a formal mea culpa, insist the outburst does not actually reflect their character or views, and check into rehab for performative atonement.
There is undeniably pervasive prejudice in our society, always lurking just beneath the surface of civility. Every person I know belonging to a marginalized group can recount the several occasions they have been reduced to solely their race, sexual orientation, religion, etc. in the face of a conflict, however minor. A phone in every hand has made it harder to escape accountability; these days, when vitriol goes viral, the offender stands to lose their livelihood and more.
One slur, however, continues to defy consequences: Bitch.
bitch, noun (biCH): A female dog, wolf, fox, or otter
bitch, noun (biCH): A derogatory word for females that can be traced back to the 15th century and indicated sexual promiscuity
bitch, noun (biCH): A derogatory word for females that gained traction during the suffragette movement and would be used over the next hundred years to describe any woman who asked for more than what a male-dominated society had relegated her to. See also: witch.
The coworker who asserts herself. The Tinder match who wasn’t impressed with the phallus photo spread. The girlfriend or wife who demands an equal partnership. Call a woman a bitch and there will be no repercussions. It is such an acceptable insult, in fact, that by the time she has reached adulthood, a woman will have unconsciously internalized a set of unspoken rules in order to avoid being called one, even to her own detriment. Sprinkle emails with smiley faces and uncertain language. Send nudes upon request. Do the unpaid emotional labor.
A sexist slur deserves the same scorn as any other prejudiced word. Its use is rooted in the same bias that deems any person who is not straight, white, or male, the Other. It’s an abhorrent abuse of power when such a man calls a woman a bitch. And it is a betrayal to progress when anyone also exiled to Otherness does the same.
As with nearly everything in life, I believe the French have conceived the solution. The most common pejorative to sling around has both male and female versions: connard and connasse, respectively. Its meaning is perfectly neutral: Asshole. Like opinions, we all have one. Certainly we are all capable of being one. Maybe in an ideal world, we wouldn’t call each other names at all, but for now, I’d settle for equality.
x Kate